New Day

It's a new day!!!!!


The day has gone so much better.!!! Long night leads to long day but my perpective is so much better. Prayer can do so much positive.


: )

Confusion, Befuddled, Bewildered.

Why is it so difficult to put into words what you want to say and do what you want to do? Why are some decisions harder than others? Should they not all be easy after all they should be based on how to do God's will?

This is something I am really struggling with. I am sometimes very shy even with my best friends and family.


I HATE THIS.


I cannot be honest with them or even talk to them. I will go out of the way to avoid them. This will beat me up for days. My mind will go through all sorts of thoughts and that gets me emotional. Why can I not be more open and say what I want to. I want to be more supportive of others. I can pray for them but talking is hard. Is it I don't want to be judged? I don't want to hear the truth. I don't want others opinions. I just don't know.


I want to do Gods will and be honoring to Him. Times like this I really question were do I stand with God? Why does He even care for me. I am so bad, so sinful. How can He ever forgive me.


I admire how others can be more open and speak their minds. I can think of what to say and it never comes out. I know that I should not envy others but there is so much others have to offer and me not much.

I need to trust in the Lord that He will guide me both in thoughts and actions to be honoring to Him in my life. I need to ask for forgiveness and Know that He is God.


So some day I will say what I want to say in a way that is good and not bad. In the meantime please forgive me for the shyness and just kick me to get me to open up if I seem to avoid you.

Tired

I never have imagined being so tired that you just drop off asleep were you are as an adult.
I have seen kids do this but I have not ever really done that. Last night I did I just sat on the bed and dropped off to sleep for 9 hours. That helped me survive work today. Which is along day. 8 1/2 hours at one job and then 1 1/2 at a second temp job. Bed is looking good again.

Back in Town

Boy five days go by fast when on vacation but not while at work. Just got home from Racine Minnesota. Down in the the southeast corner of the state.

During this trip was a lot of firsts for me. The first one that I got to go the farest east than I ever had been to LaCrosse Wisconsin. I also went to the Mall of America. A very big place and only walked a litte and had lunch there

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I also got to see fireflies every night. The farm is a corn and bean crop farm. Many animals. Cardinals, Killdeer, blue jays, wild turkeys, rabbits, deer, hawks, eagles, and of course masquitos. I only got 3 bites :)



Walked along the upper Mississippi. Not to wide or wild up here. Just flowing through trees.






Got to go into Iowa via a 4 wheeler. Very bumpy ride. Ann's Aunt lives in Minnesota but farm extends into Iowa. We had a blast bouncing and getting jarred down the trail to the Iowa river and then crossed a spring and was in Iowa. They have cows and I got to see and pet a day old calf. So much fun.

Then on Sunday I went to an auction. It was so much fun. I won a game and some glasses. Now I can get rid of some I don't like. As I stood there watching and listening to the auctoneer I thought how unique my mom and dad met at the Renton auction. We use to say that that dad was the highest bidder for her.
Then the flight home. We had to leave the farm around 12:30 pacific time and arrive at SeaTac at 8:05. We then hung out at Ann's aunt in Renton. Got home about 4 pm . Very long day but some much fun. So many memories.

Getting Ready

I am so excited!!!!! I got off early today thanks to my road supervisor who gave me a short shift. Off at noon. Got the cars oil changed, hair cut, errands run. But still have not packed.

I am trying to figure out the best way to pack my barb blanket, never mind the clothes, but my barb blanket. Do I roll it, fold it, stuff it? Soon I will be trying all of the above.

Had a get evening at the family picnic. My Aunt and cousins from Idaho came over for the week and a cousin from Whidbey Island came too. It was great to see all the 2nd and 3rd cousins play and not want to go home. It great to see Mike. He and I are the closest in age and growing up we did alot together. From running wild in Boise Idaho to touring Victoria Canada. My Aunt and I had a great chance to talk just the two of us. I guess when you knock on the bathroom door and she pulls you in you talk.

I even behaved and did not get sarcastic at my sister-in-law. She tried to get me but I did not fight back. This something I have been working on and probably always will be.

I have to get back to packing 4:30 comes early but I can not wait.

Blue Skies

I enjoy the Northwest. Blue skies are bright blue, Mountains are all different colors depending on the time of day. The view of Mount Rainier snow covered to the south and Mount Baker to the north. The green of all the trees. I can just say Ahhhhhh.

Just a fun time

So, Friday work ended. I saw the backup of traffic going north and sighed. Then I got a text from my Granite Falls friend. "Hey. meet me in Marysville Joann's and let shop." My reply Don't you realize it is a holiday weekend and traffic sucks" Her back " Get in your car and drive< Don't even think about not coming>"

So I ventured north. Traffic the back way was not bad I beat her to Joann's.

We shopped for about two hours. I got fabric for gifts. Strange I cannot wait to sew. To think three years ago I would not have even consider it.

I got some fun fabric for a baby gift. : )


Fun times with girlfriends at any age is a great time and memories are made.